Back At It: A New Attitude

Well.... I'll just go ahead and say it, 2011 was not my year! But it's time to face the music.

In Feb of 2011 I had ACL reconstruction with lateral meniscus repair. I took me a long time to realize I'm not broken anymore and I don't have an excuse.

In may we were surprised to find out that we were pregnant! We were so excited but Memorial day weekend I miscarried. It was very early but it was devastating. From there I spent the rest of 2011 picking up the pieces that shattered. I won't say that I've made peace with what happened 100% but I do know I can't change it. I'm blessed to have the support of my amazing husband and family and a few friends to have seen me through this.

I'm sad to report we have not been able to get pregnant since then and it's time to start talking about why and figuring out a plan of action. Clomid/Progesterone combination has not worked for us. Hopefully we have good news to report for 2012 still!

In September my little brother was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin's lymphoma. Scary words for someone to throw at your family. We are 100% blessed he came out with a diagnosis of Stage 1-A which basically means that it was very curable and treatable. The doctor pretty much told my mom if you had to get cancer this was what you wanted to hope for.

As of today Phillip has 1 chemo treatment left and then 1 month of radiation before he can begin to feel like he can put this behind him. His hair is so incredibly thin and if you know me or my family you know that thin hair is just not in our DNA. This little road block has taught me that my brother is 100% the strongest, kindest, and most level headed person I know. He has spent the last 5 months assuring everyone else he is fine and it's all going to be OK. He's a rock. Sometimes it still bothers me someone so young should have to go through this. He should be worrying about how much money he has for beer on the weekend and doing things with his friends!

As for 2011 it's time to admit I gained back all of the weight I worked so hard to use. There are several culprits that have made it difficult but in the end I just stopped caring and food was good and didn't let me down. In 2012 I've made the commitment to not let that happen again. I've also decided not to set a weight loss goal because we are still trying to have a baby and if we are blessed enough to get our take home baby, loosing weight obviously won't happen.

Until it does happen I'm trying to follow a diet like I did in 2010. I'm eating between 1200-1650 calories. Making sure I get 25-4o grams of fiber and getting in 8 glasses of water per day. I'm also slowing starting to get back into an exercise routine but this is coming along slower. Last week I worked out 4 out of 7 days. I hope to get to 7 days a week by the end of the month.

I'm tracking my food via the My Fitness Pal app on my iPhone. I really like the app and find it easy to use. The diet I did in 2010 was awesome so I am trying to follow it again but, knowing myself like I do... If I messed up I couldn't let it go or recover. This year I'm going to try and learn how to forgive myself and leave each day behind . What's done the day before can not be changed.

I hope to blog more often but no promises. I can tell you I'm down 5 lbs from where I was on December 31st. I have to have a procedure done the week of the 23rd and I'm hoping to have 5 more lbs gone by that point and then 10 more lbs by March. No goals beyond that :)

That is all for now. Thanks for reading!